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Addiction and substance abuse are two very different things. Drug and alcohol abuse and dependency can be a part of addiction but are not the only factors involved. The disease of addiction is incurable, progressive and fatal if left untreated but luckily, it can be arrested and recovery maintained.
Addiction manifests itself in many different ways. The most common are obsessive and compulsive behaviours surrounding alcohol, drugs,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], relationships, sex, gambling,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], cutting and self-harm,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], eating disorders (anorexia and bulimia nervosa and compulsive overeating) and co-dependence.
It is reasonably common for a person addicted to one type of addictive behaviour to act out on another one. A person acting out on drug use for example, can suffer from an active eating disorder or self-mutilation problem as well. In addition, an interesting occurrence is what happens when one addictive behaviour is taken away without any treatment of the addict's underlying problems - the addiction begins to manifest itself in some other form of obsessive compulsive disorder. This is due to the fact that the drugs, the sex, the alcohol,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the gambling, et cetera are not the main issue; they are a symptom of the problem. The main issue is the person and the disease.
Some feel it is a character flaw and lack of self-will; that the addict is a "bad" person whilst others believe that a particular drug,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], drink, person or location is the problem. A person locked in an addictive problem has definite behaviours which resemble some kind of possession! However,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], when addiction is classified as a disease, all of the behaviours and outcomes make sense.
This is why an alcoholic can stop drinking but remains miserable and unhappy: they are a dry drunk. The problem has not been attended to, only the symptom. Drug addicts can be addicted to any drug, many of which have no physical dependency side effects, once again illustrating how drugs are not the main issue behind drug addiction: the disease is.
The most effective method of treatment involves a combination of all three of these methods. Addicts receiving therapy for their problems in conjunction with a healthy lifestyle and a programme of recovery, such as the Twelve Steps, and attendance at 12 Step meetings to help them stay focused on abstinence have been shown to be the most successful.
The disease of addiction also coincides with the mistaken theory of many addicts that the problem is one particular drug, the area in which they live, the specific type of whisky that they drink or some similar factor.
By Rosemary Grace Brooks
See all Articles by Rosemary Grace BrooksGet Updates on Addiction and RecoveryGet Updates on Rosemary Grace Brooks Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
The Symptoms of Addiction
How can you tell if someone is suffering from the disease of addiction? This can be a tricky question to answer, especially seeing as addiction is a progressive disease, but most value the Step 1 statement in the 12 Steps as a good clue: "We realised we were powerless over our addiction and that our lives had become unmanageable." Because not everyone who uses drugs, gambles,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], gets drunk or has a casual sexual encounter is an addict, other factors need to be considered, not only the addictive behaviours.
Different Types of Addictive Behaviour
The disease of addiction is a condition which takes on many different forms of obsessive and compulsive behaviour, looking constantly for an outlet to cause destruction and escape.
There are many theories concerning the nature of addiction and what it is exactly.
Addiction Help and Treatment
There are many different types of treatment available for addiction and some have a higher success rate than others.
An addict is suffering from a disease. They are not a bad person, they are not weak willed; they have a disease and are sick individuals who need treatment and recovery,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], just as with any other illness.
Even though a person's engagement in obsessive and compulsive behaviour is a primary symptom of addiction, other factors need to be considered: as Step 1 puts it; has the person's life become unmanageable? Do they engage in addictive behaviours even when it will cause massive negative consequences,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], disrupting their and other people's lives? Do they behave in ways which are against their moral values, sacrificing what is important to them to fulfil an obsessive and compulsive need?
Because addiction is a disease, these factors are irrelevant: if someone is drinking whisky instead of vodka because they tend to drink only vodka and believe that that drink is the particular problem which makes them lose control, they are still drinking and will still lose control. The main point to consider about the disease of addiction is that it makes the addict powerless. Once they have had one drink, one line, one prostitute; they have no control over their actions or behaviours and are led by their disease.
Some centres focus on labour,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], healthy living and spiritual instruction to break the cycle of addiction; however this does not treat the disease, only the symptoms. Other treatments focus only on therapy, helping the addict to understand and process their issues,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], yet this does not provide them with a programme of recovery to maintain their sobriety.
Author's Bio:
Many addicts ask "if addiction is a disease,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], why did I get it?" There is no proven explanation. Some say the disease is hereditary; some say it is acquired in childhood from external factors. However both explanations seem likely – there is rarely an addict who cannot identify someone in their immediate family who does not suffer from addiction or display some tendencies. In addition, many addicts can recall childhood behaviour and experiences which were not normal or some kind of trauma.
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Second — have the suitable style of delivery for your particular partner,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Style of delivery simply means knowing that men and women are different. Men and women think differently, process information differently, and communicate differently. When sharing information, men usually like to get straight to the facts while women tend to want to talk through everything. Therefore, if you’re going to speak with your wife about something that is bothering you, be prepared to present it in such a way that encourages her to have time to talk it through and process her feelings with you. Alternately, if you’re going to discuss with your husband something that is upsetting you, be prepared to bottom line the message and understand he wants to get through the conversation as quickly as possible.
In the end,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], effective communication is simpler than it seems. As long as you are being clear about what you want to say, delivering your message in a suitable manner,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and actively listening in the conversation, you will experience the benefits with a healthier, stronger,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and happier relationship.
I’d like to point out the word “good” in good communication.
Truth is,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], anyone can communicate. Anyone can tell, talk to, talk at, share with, raise their voice or scream at somebody. These are all examples of communication behaviors, but what makes communication good is whether it is effective.
So what is effective communication? This occurs when your listener hears and understands your message and you hear and understand your listeners’ message.
These three simple steps are wonderful tools you can use to experience effective communication:
First — be very clear on the exact message you desire to express.
For example,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if you want to tell your spouse your feelings were hurt when they discussed your spending habits during last night’s dinner party, you would not start off by yelling, “You never say nice things about me!” Immediately attacking your partner with a generalized opinion can instantly put them on the defensive,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], cause a fight and shut down any potential for good communication to occur.
You’ve probably heard it before, but good communication is absolutely necessary for enduring and fostering any healthy and loving relationship.
Remember, to engage in effective communication you want to encourage your partner to listen, not shut you out. Rather than an attack, share your feelings with out attacking. Such communication sounds something like,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], “Last night at the dinner party, I felt hurt and embarrassed by your comment about my spending habits.” By sharing your feelings,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], rather than making accusations,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you are creating a productive environment for real communication to occur.
1. Be very clear on what you are trying to communicate.
2,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Have the suitable style of delivery for your particular listener,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
3. Actively listen to the conversation.
Third — be an active listener in the conversation.
As an active listener you are being present in the moment, focusing on your partner and truly listening to the message your partner is trying to communicate. Not being an active listener is when you focus your attention on planning your come back or clever response that will prove your point. Consequently, creating an environment of defensiveness instead of a space of trust and attention.
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To establish identity: One of the ways kids use lying is to establish an identity and to connect with peers, even if that identity is false. Lying can also be a response to peer pressure.

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WARNINGS: Morphine is a very beneficial medicinal agent with great utility purposes but has considerable potential for harmful effects, which includes psychological and physical tolerance and dependence. Withdrawal symptoms are most likely to occur on its abrupt discontinuation or administration. It, like other opiates,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], produces relaxation,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], indifference to pain and stress, lethargy, and euphoria. Subjects who receive narcotics on a regular basis for prolonged periods of time will have a tendency to exhibit mild symptoms upon discontinuation and may not be recognizable as withdrawal symptoms. However, the majority of opiate-dependent patients who receive them for medical reasons do not develop drug-seeking behavior or compulsive drug use. Personality traits play a major role in determining who are likely to become abusers. Morphine and other opiates should be used only if other medicines less hazardous are ineffective, and acknowledging the possibility of its masking significant manifestations of disease which should be identified for proper diagnosis and treatment.
1.Constipation: Similar to opioids,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], morphine reduces gut motility by acting on the myenteric plexus in the intestinal tract, resulting in constipation.
2.Addiction: As with all other opioids, morphine is highly addictive as mentioned in the American Civil War and the Great War of 1914-18. In certain studies under controlled environment,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which compared the physiological and subjective effects of injected heroin and morphine in addicts formerly users of opiates,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they exhibited no preference for one drug over the other with both being equally effective, with no difference in feelings of euphoria,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], ambition, nervousness,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], relaxation, drowsiness, or sleepiness, when they rated themselves.
3.Withdrawal: Ceasing use of morphine creates a typical withdrawal syndrome akin to all opioids, which is not fatal by itself in healthy patients like the withdrawal symptoms of barbiturates and benzodiazepines.
Overdose: A large overdose can result in asphyxia and death by respiratory depression if there is no timely medical intervention. Naloxone helps in stabilizing cases of morphine overdose as it reverses morphine’s effects but it may require multiple doses.
For more information visit
SIDE EFFECTS:
Contraindications: The following conditions are relative contraindications for morphine:
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Ensure that your diet does not contain foods rich in fats and sugars; instead eat wholegrain as well as high fiber foods to assist in wastes and toxin removal. Also ensure that you eat plenty of fruits and vegetables as well as drinking a lot of water each day.

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I never tried to pursue the heart of love, because I and the general women have some degree of reserved emotions. Although I am no longer is the first awakening interest in the opposite sex, but still can be put into the heart of love lows, still fall in love easily.

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But,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], what if one losses his job and gets a label of UNEMPLOYED,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], what should be his reaction. How will he become able to manage all expenses remaining outstanding till the end of the month? He would find a reliable alternative for getting rid of these financial troubles. Already, he is facing the trouble of unemployment and again thought of these bills make him feel anxious about their payment. Whom he should call in this distressing period? At such crucial times, Unemployed Need a Loan can become their support when they feel incapable even to cover-up basic expenses due to shortage of cash resources. These loans provide appropriate financial resources to cater with their fiscal troubles cropping at the mid of the month.
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This facility of Unemployed Need a Loan is available to the borrowers even with their bad credit records. Anyone having poor credit ratings like bankruptcy, arrears,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], insolvency, missed payment, no payments, County Court Judgment, Individual Voluntary Agreement, etc can gain benefits out of this loan scheme.
Before making application for these loans, borrowers need to become certified for obtaining this facility. The main requirements for these loans are that the borrower must be resident of UK and an adult i.e. 18 years old. Moreover,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], he must also possess a bank account with transaction period at least six months older. Thus, availability of these loans can satisfy the emergent needs of a borrower when they feel severe need of cash resources.
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Nutritional supplements, amino acid therapy, yoga, vitamins, medicine patent herbal, single herbs, acupuncture, electromagnetic therapies are the therapies for depression that can help with anxiety too.

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But something just didn’t feel right,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. I realized that the restlessness which originally led to my decision to try dating was really but another phase of the grief process.
Sandy Clendenen
Ask these questions to gain greater clarity about pursuing dating.
About a year after my husband died I began feeling extremely restless. Grief kept my mind skittering from one thing to another. Although these restless feelings were confusing, they were at least a bit of a relief from the heaviness of grief’s deep sadness and depression.
• Do I still feel constantly lonely?
• Am I able to be comfortable just spending time alone with myself,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
• If I am asked to describe my ideal dating partner, would all the characteristics really be a complete description of my deceased spouse?
Somehow, from this agitated state of displaced energy, I decided to try internet dating.
Dating and Grief
By
The desire to date can really signal that a new transformational process has occurred in the life of the griever. It’s a powerful sign of willingness to move your life forward.
Well, I really didn’t wait. I was out there looking for my perfect companion in cyberspace.
The pain of feeling my grieving body was so overwhelming that I believe my mind was searching for a way to disengage and somehow feel “normal” again.
The emails led to some actual dates and even some more serious dating.
I boldly responded to profiles of men that seemed like interesting dating prospects.
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My decision to try dating was really about my missing my spouse in a more deeply physical way.
While the desire to date can definitely be part of the move beyond grief,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], there is a need to really explore where one’s feelings are coming from.
It took me awhile to figure out the mechanics, since I knew very little about computers at that time. I spent time organizing my profile information and coming up with a catchy tagline. I posted my profile and waited for responses.
By Sandy Clendenen
See all Articles by Sandy ClendenenSee Sandy Clendenen's Expert PageGet Updates on Life TransitionsGet Updates on Sandy Clendenen Average: 2,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].666665 Your rating: None Average: 2.7 (3 votes) Tweet
I wasn’t looking for another man,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. I was looking for my deceased spouse in other men,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. I was blinded by grief masked as dating energy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. And I believe this was even more evident to my dating partners than it was to me.
I realized that my restlessness was a form of protection from a deeper layer of my grief process,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. I was still lost in grief,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. It was simply wrapped up in a different package,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
There is no right or wrong answer to these questions. They are simply questions to provide you with more information about your most authentic feelings about dating as an option when healing from grief.
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While we are surrounded by pollutants from the environment, the human body produces its own toxins. Our metabolic processes result in chemical wastes which can compromise our health.

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I often write down a large seemingly beautiful words to express their thought. City sister said: "too flowery words sometimes makes people as no soul of poetry that worry......" How should I say, the wearer knows where the shoe pinches.

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4. The weight loss program must come with a support system. So this rules out any "do-it-yourself" program unless you go out and create the support system yourself (possible, but I'm not sure how long it would last.) You cannot do it by yourself,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if you could you would have already. So the best weight loss program would come with a stellar support system. You support system should consist of a number of different things: instruction,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a real person you can call when you need support, on-going motivation, accountability. The best weight loss program would connect you to a community of like minded individuals who are committed to supporting you in attaining your weight loss and weight maintenance success!
1. The weight loss program should focus on lifestyle change. Too many diets these days focus on the "quick fix." I think we've tried enough quick fix weight loss programs that we can all agree that the only way to successfully lose weight and ultimately keep that weight off is to change our lifestyle. The best weight loss program would have a strong focus on helping you to make the better choices so the weight not only comes off but stays off! Each individual is different so making lifestyle change for each person will be different,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but the best weight loss program would have a strong focus on helping you to make better choices according to your life, so the weight not only comes off but stays off!
By Brandy Sinoto
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3. The weight loss program must be able to meet you at YOUR commitment level. Too many time's I've seen coaches, basically force their clients do what they we're NOT ready to do, ie. throw out all processed foods in their home,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], vow not to eat any sugars or starches (forever),[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], actually buy a membership and commit to 3-4 times a week at the gym (when they had probably never even seen the inside of a gym.) Don't get me wrong, none of these things are "bad," of course I want you to get rid of all the processed foods you've been living off of and to break the sugar addiction and to get active, however it never works when the customer themselves are not ready to do it. The best weight loss program would still be successful even if you we're not as committed as the crazy coach that you signed up do it with.
2. The weight loss program must be sustainable. In other words, don't even try to lose weight doing something that you cannot be doing for the rest of your life. If you can't continue doing what you did to take the weight off in the first place, then you will not be able to keep the weight off. For example,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if you exercised at the gym for 4 hours a day 7 days a week to drop the 20 pounds, chances are that you will not be exercising that way for the rest of your life and therefore will probably put the weight back on. Another example, if you replaced 2 meals a day with a liquid drink for 3 months to lose 20 pounds, chances are that 3 years from now you will not be drinking 2 meals a day and will likely be putting back on that weight that you lost. The best weight loss program would be one that you feel you can do not just for the next 3-6 months, but for the next 3-6 years.
Successful weight loss and weight maintenance takes a combination of many different factors. The above 4 points should get you started in the right direction and always keep in mind,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], "If you don't give up, you will get there."
So it's about that time. "What time?" may you ask... that time when you look in the mirror and say, "I gotta lose some weight." We all know what it feels like,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it happens a few times a year,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we look at ourselves in the mirror and we're just over it, then we search high and low for the latest and greatest innovation in weight loss, we ask around a bit about it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we wait another few weeks thinking about starting then we do. Well, I'm not going to tell you the eventuality of that story because you can probably guess what happens,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we live this yo-yo cycle here in America! Neither am I going to tell you what the best weight loss program is. Rather, I will be sharing with you 5 things to look for when you are looking for a program to help you reach your goals of fat loss and weight maintenance.
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believer,By Sharon Teitelbaum See all Articles by Sharon TeitelbaumSee Sharon Teitelbaum's Expert PageGet Updates on MotivationGet Updates on Sharon Teitelbaum Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet I’m bringing you an article on the achievement cycle because I find I need to re-learn these principles regularly So overweight people are now average." -Nathaniel Hawthorne
"Either I will find a way, Too late,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I did not know that the anger of the people you lead is the door prize of leadership. there's a better than fair chance that someone else has already done it first. and more. kindness, “The one you feed!
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Inner network Approach
Put into action Back up and Catastrophe Recuperation Procedures: Primary organization information is the center of any business. are altered each and every fraction.
these are simple to wear and make the message clear that you are diabetic. you cannot always be by your child’s side but there is always a need for proper medical assistance,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it will heal your soul faster than anything else. If you would like to try some money or health affirmations,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but I do now. Mind,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], dreams and goals. Well,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Minimize or better yet,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], when the unexpected happens.
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Divorce Mediation is an alternative that allows you to keep control of your own life, money and children. Most divorcing couples have a lot to protect and this can best be done by working together. Co-operation saves more than just money. The best gift you can give your children is to be able to co-parent with your spouse. Instead of a divorce taking years of expensive fighting,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], divorce mediation only takes a day or two partial days. While it may sound impossible that a total solution can be crafted in a 4-7 hour period, I have done it so many times with so many different types of couples,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I know it works.
The adversarial approach does not serve the co-parenting process nor is it economically efficient. The average divorce in California costs $20,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],000 each when both sides have attorneys. Of course the price will go up or down depending on how much the couple is encouraged to fight vs. being encouraged to be fair and settle. Divorcing couples can be extremely emotionally vulnerable and easily manipulated by legal counsel who can be more interested in racking up a huge bill instead of quickly, fairly and efficiently resolving the matter. While there are many ethical divorce lawyers who try their best to protect their clients,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], their orientation is still that of a "zealous advocate" which means they will do everything in their power to try to get their clients the best deal. This deal often costs more in legal fees than it is worth and usually results in making the couple so angry with each other it is impossible to co-parent.
Divorce mediation works best with honest people who are not hiding assets and just want a result that is fair. Most couples who are in the initial stages of thinking about getting a divorce would do well to meet with a divorce mediator as opposed to hiring their own attorneys. You only get one chance at getting a divorce without acrimony. Once you start to go down that adversarial road,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it is that much harder to get back to a place where you can function comfortably as co-parents.
Most people are unaware that family law attorneys are the ONLY kinds of lawyers in California whose fees are protected by the equity in their client's home. By law they have the right to run up enormous fees and then slap a lien on the family home and force a sale,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], often taking more of the sales proceeds then their clients get to keep. Instead of the children of the divorcing couple getting the benefit of the equity their parents have built, the lawyer's children are the ones who get to go to private school and the children of some divorcing couple will be lucky to have lunch money. It doesn't have to be this way.
The attorney who acts as mediator does not represent either party but acts as a neutral facilitator who is a resource for both. The couple can ask the attorney/mediator legal questions and receive help in arriving at all the terms of their divorce. The mediator drafts the marital settlement agreement,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which is the document that is attached to the Judgment. The judge signs the agreement without the couple ever going to court and the divorce becomes final 6 months from the day the initial papers were filed and served. When the mediator has a powerful intention to complete the divorce process instead of dragging it out, the results are miraculous.
As someone who taught school for many years, has a Masters in Special Education and worked with extremely emotionally disturbed children,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], my primary interest is to encourage couples to do what is in the best interest of their children. It is not in your child's best interest to spend all your money fighting with each other. It is not in their best interest to be caught in the cross fire of their parent's nasty court battle. AS mediator helps couples by working with them to find each side's bottom line,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], letting them know what the court would probably do, acting as a reality check if they have unreasonable expectations and constantly refocusing them on what is the most workable solution for their situation. Mediators who are also lawyers can do all the paperwork associated with the divorce as well as helping the couple craft their own solution.
Ask most people what it is like to go through a divorce and chances are you will hear a litany of horror stories about high legal costs,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], unfair results in court and lawyers who don't care enough about their own clients to return phone calls. Splitting up a family and the assets that have been accumulated during a marriage is probably one of the most emotional transitions a person can go through. Being encouraged by legal counsel to litigate instead of being reasonable only exacerbates the bad feelings between a couple. Because of the high cost of legal assistance, it is more important than ever to make sure your lawyer has your best interests at heart and is not taking unnecessary steps so that they can profit by billing more hours to your account. If there are children involved it is crucial that the parents walk away from divorce court with the ability to co-parent,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], something that is hard to do after a long, bloody adversarial process. Finding a lawyer who takes pride in resolving a family law matter as quickly,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], inexpensively and with as little blood shed as possible is unusual.
Traditionally the process of getting a divorce has involved hiring lawyers, going to court and letting a judge or the lawyers decide and/or negotiate the outcome. The couple plays the most passive role in the legal drama. Because the decisions are coming from above instead of the couple themselves fashioning a result, it is often difficult for the couple to comfortably live with the final outcome. When the couple is more actively involved in creating the terms of their own divorce instead of having to put up with the "one size fits all" solution that the legal process gives them, there is a better fit and more of a commitment to make it work. Most people resent solutions that are imposed on them. It is natural that individuals are more satisfied when they get to decide for themselves instead of being told what to do.
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Although this approach to relationships is normal, it usually brings disappointment because happiness comes and goes. It has to, because happiness depends upon circumstances. When things go well, we are happy.

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All the income is now yours. You can also make your own schedule and your boss is your self. inside and out, not just quick-fix repairs,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Polarizing can create that following or awareness of who you are and what you stand for." This means you may not know this potential customer today,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], at times you will realize that they are just being difficult due to some miss understanding.By Bruce Mills See all Articles by Bruce MillsSee Bruce Mills's Expert PageGet Updates on HabitsGet Updates on Bruce Mills Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet Dealing with a difficult Person can be as hard as a buried ball in the sand
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and in control (not fearful) – then you have won. and even dictate our actions. Or was my intuition trying to tell me something? self-care is not to be neglected either. Best try it on for size first and this resource could give you that opportunity. Do you want a franchise or begin something totally yours? your mind is often focused on your current situation, This makes you more conscious of your problems and the distance between your current life situation and the words you are repeating in your affirmation.
Are all injury claims qualified for a personal injury lawsuit? Knowing the qualifications for a lawsuit is very important because there are claimant who gets wonder whether they are entitled to file a lawsuit or not.

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My daughters have the luxury of that blissful child forgetfulness. Shortly after their heated exchange all was forgotten and peace, understanding and happiness again ruled the living room. When we mature into adults care must be taken not to follow these childlike patterns. It is often a much longer drawn out and serious situation when adults are involved and things become too personal.
I was watching my six and nine year old daughters playing the other morning when suddenly there was a barrage of I Hate You and I Don't Like You Anymore statements flying about the room. Of course, it was just a moment of disagreement in child play, but the thoughts and feelings were real enough to them at that moment.
Even in children we want to quell this pattern if possible because it slowly programs the child to take things that happen personally and to respond or react to others by holding them personally responsible for everything that happens,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Most of what happens to you especially when interacting with others in not personal in nature.
Fifteen minutes later they were mindlessly lost in a new layer of exciting activity and fun play. The things they had said and thought in the heat of the moment were a long lost memory as were most of the things they had been asked to do by their mother and me.
Children can be an excellent example of pure human nature. A human nature that most of us will carry into adulthood to one degree of another. We disagree, argue and find fault with others that don't hold to our personal views and beliefs. We exclaim how much we dislike that person even to the extreme of hatred and hold a grudge,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], sometimes for years. Our emotions and feelings surface and spill out all over the personal relationships that define the patterns of our lives.
Consider the true person behind the disagreement not just the thoughts and words.
Consider if you are going too far in denigrating the person instead of the words and actions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Consider if you are taking the matter too personally by not comprehending the true or actual intent.
There were the complaints that turned into whines and finally the visit to our feet as one or the other pleaded their case and asked us to intervene on their behalf.
It's fine to disagree with the thoughts, views and beliefs of another, but not to hate the person behind those thoughts and beliefs. There have been many times in my life when I was in the company of someone with views,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], beliefs and actions that I vehemently disliked, but later found that the person was a genuine friend and wonderful person. They still held to their beliefs and views, but that was not the person inside. Whenever you disagree with someone take a moment to:
Adults who carry elevated levels of specific Human Conditions with them respond in much the same way as children,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. They complain and whine for a while and that eventually decays into them seeking out someone to hear their cause and come to their support,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Just like children.
You take the offending action,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], result or intent personally.
You intentionally make your response or reaction personal in nature.
In the mind of a child it's not personal,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it just feels that way. They follow patterns and make decisions to do things simply because they feel like it or want to which is the very same motivation of many adults rather than careful consideration,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], reasoning and decision. Children respond and react personally because have elevated Human Conditions that have not yet been tempered by education and experience. Maturation is that tempering process.
However, even in times of war it is not the person we dislike,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but rather it is their actions. What others believe and think has little impact on your life until they make the decision to exclaim those points or act. You disagree with the action, result and intent not the actual human being behind the scenes. There are two factors involved:
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By Alvin J Gentry
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Don't blame or attack the person, resolve your concerns with the thought, view, belief or action.
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Be predictable. When do seeds of suspicion emerge? When one begins to think, What's up? Why is he doing that? He's never done that before. That is so unlike him. He loses 30 pounds, buys a new wardrobe and comes home late from work.

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there are rumors that, more than 2000 Mercedes Benz Yiwu has in 2006. Data are true or false is not clear, however,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], from the show of Mercedes Benz, BMW sales,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Yiwu person or have unique preferences for Mercedes Benz,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], BMW. Car culture festival after the launch, around a Mercedes Benz booth gathered a considerable popularity, let at the show of the Mercedes Benz 4S store sales manager Nie Lei never idle,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in addition to help introduce new car purchase a car, help customers handle formalities, many more new and old customers still busy let him fight a discount.
Wang Xiaohui introduced, in order to adapt to the situation in China, from the RV voltage imported has changed into the 220 volts, therefore, to buy a car, use very convenient.
in this show, car into the new darling of the people of Yiwu. Busy businessmen to make money, if one day will habitually open car to the countryside,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], fishing, gather together? With the number of car be in the best of spirits to Dalian car exhibitors see good prospects in Yiwu market.
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"1580000,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], there are so many things, the price is not expensive." With the children of relatives and friends to see Ms. Hu, watching TV, refrigerator car interior, kitchen goods are available in all varieties. Facilities, not from sighed, then immediately place an order to buy.
November 10th, the fifth session of the Yiwu auto culture festival held in Yiwu International Expo center. Although the play exhibition fee,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but the sentiment is bursting, the auto culture festival compared four show,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not only the scale and the successive, many luxury car exhibition, also let the audience see. At the show, see people not idle, want to buy more is on the spot to place an order, without hesitation, this let exhibitors who light up with pleasure, many cars are at the exhibition were directly "seckill".
looked at the Yiwu people with appearance, on the side of the general manager Wang Xiaohui to conceal a smile. Wang Xiaohui said, in many areas of North China,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the car has become an essential model many entrepreneurs, go out, please friends to go to the outskirts of attracting a vacation is very convenient. In Yiwu,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the habit was not formed, but Yiwu people have such consumption ability, so this time, a special zone of the car to the Yiwu auto show on the "test the water", and a half day off, place an order to see customers is in a continuous line.
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It has been a while since your relationship ended with your girlfriend or boyfriend, however you can't get over your ex. Probability are that they still have strong feelings for you and wants to reconcile with you as well.

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• The kind of listener that doesn’t always hear the exact words people speaks – but listens for the gist or the meaning behind the words,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
• Or, are you the kind of listener that hears the exact words people say (literal), and then become befuddled when told it is NOT what the communicator meant?
• Often a “gist” listener is also a “gist” communicator, AND
• Often a “literal” listener is also a “literal” communicator
It is easy to identify the “gist” person. They really want you to get the meaning behind the words,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not the exact words. If you repeat their exact words you will notice them tell you repeatedly that the words they just said were not what they meant. Take this not as a point of illogic or wrongness but as a clue for unraveling the communication mystery.
I bet you sided with at least one of the two people in the scenario above. I’m sure the manager,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Ted would appreciate your votes because technically – he was right,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but communication wise he lost. Ted did not get Gloria because he was not interpreting and responding to her “gist” communication style – her story didn’t fit into his concepts or policy. What is the normal outcome of a conversation like this? You will hear it in the hallways; both point fingers and say the other person is a bad communicator.
It is about acknowledging her and allowing her to move on with her story. Only if you are a gist person is this easy. If you are the literal listener it requires you withhold judgment, stop the screaming dictionaries in your brain and shut down your logic in order to allow the other person the space they need to tell their story and feel heard.
In order to listen well, you must read the person who is talking to you - which means you must be completely present, allowing no other distractions. Part of reading the other person is:
a) Identifying what their communication style is by listening and clarifying their use of literal and non-literal descriptors.
b) Once you recognize they are a literal or a “gist” communicator, you can now adapt to what kind of listener they expect you to be.
Which listener you are,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
Gloria is the “gist” listener and communicator, Ted is the “literal” listener and communicator – lets see what happens when they communicate. Gloria concerned Ted when she told him that she had been “yelled” at as she debriefed a prior conversation with a coworker. Her manager, Ted just happened to be present during the “yelling” and didn’t hear a raised voice or even a threatening tone. He then questioned Gloria’s definition of the word “yell.” Gloria readily confirmed Ted’s definition – “yell” means to raise your voice. She even agreed the coworker did not raise his voice.
Let’s see how a literal can respond to a “gist” person…
10-years ago I finally learned a secret that has saved me countless frustrating conversations, missed messages, mixed up cues and who knows what. There are no quick fixes. Not true, there are two I can offer you right now:
If you are like me,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you’ve heard it too many times… And we both hate hearing it.
Then the bomb; Gloria said the way the conversation came across to her, the coworker might as well have “yelled”. By this point, a literal communicator like Ted didn’t know where to go. Gloria’s explanation of the word “yell” didn’t fit and left him needing more information or to correct Gloria’s statement. Gloria wanted to be heard and until she felt heard, she would not give more information and would block Ted at his attempts. Ted at this point stopped trying to listen confused as to why Gloria would intentionally slander a coworker by using the word “yell.”
Since leadership and good communication start with learning what kind of a listener you are, this article explores a way to improve listening that I am sure you will relate to.
May you always communicate with CLASS,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]!
Ever been told you don't listen well? Or maybe worse… “You are a lousy communicator,” “Do you ever listen?” “How do you expect to be a leader if you don’t listen?”
In the scenario above,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Ted got “a” right, he asked Gloria for her definition of the word “yell.” Once he heard it had to do with feelings and not literals,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], his next cue “b” would have been to adapt and simply acknowledge her meaning of the word “yell.” In this moment it is not about
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looking up the meaning of the word “yell” in the dictionary or
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Sound easy? Neither responses are easy – we as communicators are often knee deep in our own communication style and struggle to get outside of it. However, it is possible, otherwise we wouldn’t have the amazing people we admire in this world – they have figured it out.
One more thing; at any given moment the literal and gist person could change on you. Your job is to be aware and dance to the music instead of stop it. Just by adapting to your listener, your communication ratings are guaranteed to soar.
What happens when two completely different “styles” speak to each other, using their own communication language? Because each language sounds the same, but comes across the ears differently,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the two will often have difficulty in their ability to connect, understand and move forward. Let’s play this out…
In communicating with the logic or literal person, gist communicators and listeners must work very hard at following the literal words, then speak those same words back to the literal speaker and respond with a literal response.
Pamela’s Point: As the reader, no matter which side you are on, the fact that you can see where the other person is coming from (whether you agree with it or not) improves your chances of being considered a good communicator.
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